When a trainee has a problem with a mentor, the first and most important step is to identify the cause. In many cases, the problem is a mismatch between the trainee’s expectations and those of the mentor. When this happens, both the mentee and the mentor may need to make adjustments. The goal is to resolve the issue in the most productive way possible for both parties.
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Mismatch between mentee and mentor
A mismatch between a mentee and mentor can occur when the two people have too much in common. If the two people are too similar, their learning potential will be limited. It is best to select a mentor who is a few years younger than the mentee.
If the mentee and mentor do not have similar goals and experiences, the relationship may end in failure. Sometimes, this can be a result of a personality clash or a mismatch in the skills that the mentor has. To make sure that the two people are the best fit, a mentee should first determine what he or she wants to accomplish and then look for a mentor who shares those same goals. If this is not possible, the mentee may need to change mentors.
Mentoring programs are challenging. It is important to understand that there are risks to the relationship, and it is important to be transparent about these issues. However, if the two people are compatible, they will be more likely to be successful. Generally speaking, formal mentoring programs will have very few failed pairs. This could be due to lack of commitment on both sides, a mismatch in learning styles, a change in job assignments, or a lack of chemistry.
Mismatch between mentee and mentor’s expectations
A mismatch between the expectations of a mentee and a mentor can arise for a variety of reasons. These may include differences in personalities or areas of expertise, as well as different work styles or expectations. The sooner that a mismatch is detected, the easier it is to resolve. In some cases, this is a simple process, but in others, it requires more work.
Mismatch between the expectations of a mentee and a mentor can be very frustrating, especially for a student who is unsure what to do next. Rather than resenting the advice of a mentor, students should try to work out a compromise. If the two sides cannot agree on advice, the mentee should seek out other sources of advice.
Mismatch between mentee’s motivation
Occasionally, a mismatch in motivation can occur between a mentor and mentee. It can arise from differences in personalities, areas of expertise, or work ethics. If the rift is discovered early in the mentoring relationship, it may be easier to rectify. In such cases, the mentee can seek the support of a department chair or another mentor.
Controlling mentors may seek extrinsic rewards and external sources of satisfaction. This may impact the quality of the mentoring relationship.
Mismatch between mentee’s commitment
When a mentor and mentee’s commitment levels are not in alignment, the relationship can suffer. Mismatches can result from different personalities, areas of expertise, work ethic, and many other factors. Mismatches are usually found early on in the relationship, before it becomes difficult to resolve. However, it is not impossible to resolve the mismatch if the mentee and mentor are willing to work together to find a solution.
Mishandled response by mentor
A mishandled response by a mentor to a trainee who is unhappy with a mentor can have a number of negative consequences. It may result in a strained relationship or even a rupture of the relationship. It may even lead to the trainee feeling that the mentor is condoning misconduct and is failing to act appropriately.
When this happens, it’s critical to avoid letting anger affect the mentor’s response. An anger outburst can lead to feelings of intimidation or the need to “give them a taste of their own medicine.” Instead of responding to a trainee’s feelings, a mentor should pause and move from a reactive to a thinking mode. If a trainee has a hard time dealing with his or her feelings, rescheduling the meeting can give the trainee some breathing room and give both parties a chance to reflect.
